Letter from an Exile

Dear State of California,

I am writing today because my therapist tells me that it would be a good exercise to get some things off my chest. I know our versions of our breakup are different. You are telling your friends that I left you with a massive debt and a million needs to fill. How can you spread such lies? The truth of the matter is far more sinister and we both know it.

When I first met you, 34 years ago (I’m not counting the brief acquaintance we made four years before that), you were the most handsome one I’d met so far. Everything about you was bigger, shinier, more fabulous. You took me to Disneyland early on and I remember all the fun times we had playing on the sand and in the water. Your rugged, majestic charm really overshadowed the issues I knew were present underneath it all.

I just didn’t want to see it.

Even my friends warned me over the years to leave you. They pointed out your obvious dangers to me. But I didn’t want to listen. I kept believing in you, hoping they were wrong.

And it didn’t help that you kept taking me away to Catalina Island… you knew that place takes my breath away.

And your friends were such exciting people! Artists and actors and brilliant, dramatic, fashionable people.

But as much as I would try to cover my eyes, I knew DEEP DOWN that you were not good for my health as you began to take the steps to hold me prisoner in my own home.

It was really after we made a commitment to one another that things began to change. When I applied for that marriage license I had no idea you would hold jurisdiction over me in every way. Beginning in 2006 you ordered me to stay within your house or you would lock me up in a cage.

I know, I know, looking back now I can’t believe I even let you have that kind of power. I should have left then. But I was scared and you had brainwashed me so thoroughly during our prior courtship. I didn’t believe I had the option to be free.

I did everything you told me to. And then the day came, almost two years later, that despite my best intentions you say I broke one of your many rules. Well, how was I even to know? You never told me the rules. You were constantly terrorizing me, telling me rules I had broken only after I had done so! There was no way to know how to please you!

Four years after you began holding me captive in your home you locked me in a cage. Not because I was rebellious, but because I apparently didn’t please you despite trying my very hardest.

You humiliated me, stripped me naked, ridiculed me and forced me to go without sleep, warmth and food.

When you finally released me I was so undone. My body began to suffer and my mind began to break.

The years that followed were ones that should never be experienced by a human being. You took away everything.

But you did not take my will to survive.

And so, State of California, I am leaving. Today. I am not interested in the beautiful sunrise or the warm, cozy day you have set in front of me to woo me back into your abusive, control-freak presence. You can have your rugged charm, your beach front property and your glamorous friends.

I am tired of starving and suffering to try and make things work. I would rather be FREE. I AM FREE.

-An ex girlfriend


About supportmidwifekatiemccall

Katie McCall was born at Pomona Valley Hospital in Southern California by scheduled c-section as a frank breech due to the current medical system insistence that breeches should always be delivered that way. Katie's father's family was filled with teachers, her mother's family was filled with healers. It is no surprise then, that she went on to have her own two children and spend her adult life involved in a combination of teaching and healing through midwifery, childbirth education, doula work and serving families in Southern California. Katie attended USC for her general education and then went on to study with the American Academy of Husband Coached Childbirth to become a certified childbirth educator. Shortly thereafter, she certified as a birth doula (labor assistant) with the Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators. Katie was also mentored through a pregnancy and birth support business called The Birth Connection in Glendale, CA, which Katie later purchased and expanded to include a 1500 square foot education facility, retail store and birthing center. She enrolled in midwifery school and apprenticed with the midwives who ran the birth center as well as with midwives who attended homebirths. She sold her business to pursue her midwifery education full time in 2006 and passed her midwifery (NARM) exam to become a Certified Professional Midwife in 2008. She went on to gain her Midwifery License from the State of CA Medical Board in 2010. Katie has received supplementary education in lactation to become a lactation educator, vaginal birth after cesarean support, support of sexual abuse survivors, aromatherapy and is neonatal and CPR certified. She assisted over 500 couples through childbirth education and attended over 550 births as of 2011. As a Southern California native, she has a wide range of experience, serving mothers from diverse backgrounds. She believes her job is one of empowering women to develop their own trust and connection with their bodies and their babies during their own unique journey into motherhood. If she has learned anything through her experience with birth, it is that every birth is as different as the women who are laboring. On August 17th, 2011 Katharine “Katie” McCall, a licensed midwife, was convicted of practicing medicine with out a license for a 2007 birth she assisted as a student. The charge arose from a home birth where Katie's supervising midwife could not arrive because she was at another birth. Instead of leaving the family to birth unassisted, Katie stayed. She recommended that the family transfer to the hospital and the family refused. They were aware that she was only a student midwife and that she was unable to secure an overseeing mid
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10 Responses to Letter from an Exile

  1. Evelyn Oliva says:

    You are a very strong woman, I’m so happy to read that you are finally free!

  2. Hannah says:

    Beautiful! Blessings on your travels! Love and prayers from here!

  3. Come home my dear! If you need anything, you know we are in Northwood and will help if we can! Congratulations on breaking the chain.

  4. Katie, I have a big old house on the MD/DE border – You’re welcome to have a respite from your travels here, and ai sense you and I should talk. My email is karen@womanwise.info

    Come, I’ll feed you all! I had 8 kids and now 9 grandkids, I have a kid friendly house.

  5. Donald says:

    Inspirational post Katie. I too am planning on breaking up a 48 year relationship with California. I just need to select our next home state. Oh what fun . . . to have freedom of choice like this. The journey is the best part and we can still do it here !

  6. Our life long relationship with California ends on June 30th and we will start our adventure to become Texans. I wish you peace and joy along your journey!

  7. Mary Sorens says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Katie. It is so compelling – it’s hard to believe what you went through. I’m an FSP member and hope to have the honor of meeting you soon.

    I hope you’ll take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with WordPress so that you can change your “about” page (right now it is a template and doesn’t include your own words) and include your bio there. Right now, your bio is only included at the end of your posts in the author area, and sadly WordPress limits the number of characters in that area. You can see the limited story that we see if you visit this page: https://shirebound.wordpress.com/author/supportmidwifekatiemccall/

    See how the bio is cut off prematurely? Hopefully you can include the full bio on your about page. It is located here, and you should see a link to edit it: https://shirebound.wordpress.com/about/

  8. Pingback: Imprisoned for “Unlicensed Midwifery,” Fleeing California for New Hampshire | Pileus

  9. Lj says:

    What law was passed in 2006?

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